Last week I mentioned we were thinking about bringing Bug home next year for homeschooling. As my husband and I have discussed this decision, we’ve been revisiting the reasons we put him in school in the first place. One big reason is that I had a hard time balancing his grade school needs with the needs of my high schooler and my toddler. Bug can be a high maintenance homeschool student.
Before we bring him back home for school, I need to have a plan in place to deal with his needs, or we’ll be right back where we started two years ago, when I was at the end of my homeschooling rope.
How do you balance the needs of a teen, a very social tween, and a toddler in a home school?
Assess Your Children’s Strengths
Begin with the positive. It’s easier to face a problem when you feel like you have things working in your favor, and in almost any situation there are positives to be found.
In my case, my teen is very self sufficient. She likes to be given a list of things she needs to do, and then she disappears into her room all day while she gets those things done.
My tween, Bug, is very motivated by things he likes to do. When he wants to, he can buckle down and work quickly. He also picks up on new concepts easily.
My toddler likes to do what the rest of the family is doing. She loves to help with laundry, do “school,” and “read” when we’re reading.
As you think about your children’s strengths, write them down, so you don’t forget them.
Know Your Children’s Weaknesses
Just as important as knowing the strengths of your children is knowing their weaknesses. It’s their weaknesses that will frequently make you feel as if your homeschool is falling apart. The best thing you can do is to anticipate the problems and head them off before they become big issues.
Back to my children as examples. My teen would rather speed through her schoolwork than stop to ask questions when she doesn’t understand something. This sometimes results in poorly done work.
My tween likes to take breaks. Lots of them. He also likes to “negotiate” any instruction he’s given. Even though he’s capable of working quickly, sometimes getting him started is a problem. He’s also very social and needs a lot of social interaction to keep him happy.
My toddler is also very social and hates being ignored. She needs a lot of personal attention and interaction, or she will fall apart quickly.
Make sure you also write down the weaknesses of your children in a separate column from their strengths.
Put Together a Plan
With your list of strengths and weaknesses in front of you, start thinking through a plan that will best address all of your children’s needs.
In my case, my plan includes the following:
- Spend lots of time with the toddler in the morning to fill her need for attention. Give her jobs to do, so she feels important. Give her “schoolwork,” even if it’s just a notebook and pens. When she feels included, she’s happy.
- Check the teen’s work at least once daily to make sure she understands important concepts.
- Make sure the tween has the opportunity to take outside classes, where he can interact with other kids closer to his age.
- Tailor the tween’s schooling to meet his strengths. For instance, he loves making videos, so have him demonstrate knowledge of a subject by making a video. Doing something he loves keeps him motivated.
- Be prepared with swift consequences for when the tween tries to negotiate assignments. Obedience is a character issue, and he needs some training.
- Do any intense instruction during the toddler’s nap time.
Of course your strategy will vary, based on the ages and personalities of your kids, but laying everything out on paper will help you come up with a plan that suits your situation.
Other Helpful Tips to Help Manage Multi Aged Students
Schedule time for older children to entertain younger children, while you work with middle children. This teaches older children responsibility and helps develop a strong bond between kids who, due to age differences, wouldn’t otherwise spend a lot of time playing together. Make sure you don’t abuse the help of your older children, though. They have their own work to do.
Choose curriculum that fits your family’s needs. Sometimes it’s easy to become enamored with a curricula that everyone’s raving about, but if you’re strapped for time, for instance, choosing a teacher intensive curricula for one student might not work. Perhaps choosing something that works well across large age ranges would be better.
Prepare a basket of “school supplies” for toddlers. Things to include in the basket could be markers, pipe cleaners, blocks, lacing cards, or anything of the like. Only use this basket during school time, so your toddler won’t get bored with it. Having something new and exciting available for toddlers will keep them occupied (as well as toddler can be occupied) during school time.
Take time to figure out your children’s learning styles and try to work with those styles. The easier you can make learning for your children, the easier it will be to run your homeschool.
Be Flexible
No matter how much you plan, kids will be kids (and lets face it, we moms aren’t perfect either). Some days just won’t go as planned. A child will be stubborn, a toddler won’t nap, or your internet will go down and your high schooler won’t be able to complete her lessons. You can’t plan for every circumstance, and there will be times it feels like your homeschool is falling apart. That’s OK. No school is perfect.
However, having a plan for managing your children’s strengths and weaknesses will help most days go smoothly. Just be ready to adjust the plan as your children grow and change. And make sure to enjoy your children as they grow and change. The homeschooling years are a precious time and a time that flies by too quickly. Don’t let the hard days get in the way of marveling at the little people God has put in your care.
How do you manage multi aged students in your homeschool?
We discussed home schooling a number of times, and we often regret not trying it The main reason was for just what you describe. With 6-kids spaced 2-4 years apart, we felt it would be far too difficult to help them learn effectively.
Although, I’ll tell ya, with some of the issues we have with our public school, even with the challenges we might have been better off!
Sounds like you have a good plan, and your hands full
Have to say, I’ve enjoyed watching them grow-up. I cannot believe how big your 2 oldest are!
I don’t have children, but I liked reading about the steps you took to develop a plan. Actually, I think I like it because it sounds awfully close to an analysis I’ve learned about in college, the “SWOT” (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) analysis.
Also, even though I’m pretty sure you’ve done this, you might consider evaluating your own strengths and weaknesses too. You mentioned that your tween is social; perhaps if you have a weakness in a particular subject matter, you could arrange for him to go to classes for that particular subject. It’s a win-win situation; he gets the social interaction he needs, you get the opportunity to have some one-on-one time with the other children, and you aren’t left feeling frustrated and inadequate because you are struggling to teach him a subject that you aren’t comfortable with teaching.
It’s just a thought coming from someone who has absolutely zero experience with homeschooling.
Larry, I often think it would be easier to homeschool if my kids were two years apart, instead of almost 5 years between the oldest two and 8 years between the youngest two.
I’m also a big believer that there’s no one size fits all best way of educating children. Obviously you guys are doing something right, judging by the pictures of your oldest’s college acceptance letter I saw a while back.
Charity, I have never heard of SWOT, but I’m glad I’m on the right track. And you’re absolutely right about assessing my own strengths and weaknesses. I need to do that too. One of them is that I am an introvert, which makes it hard to meet the needs of my two very social younger children. Outside classes are a must!
If God has given you this child, he has equipped you to educate this child. The most important thing is that this child grows up and follows Jesus. He will give you the strength to home school him. He wants us to trust HIM and not fear.
I have done what you are doing–child in school and home schooled. Better for them all to be together at home. It’s God’s plan for families. It’s not all easy but worthwhile.
My children are in a 4H home school club that meets during the day. It has been a huge blessing. They do a lot of volunteer work, fellowship with other home schoolers and do 4H projects. It also is not expensive. 4H is free, but our club has dues of $1 per child per meeting. We have all ages from littles to high school seniors.
We want to equip our children for life. It means more than school work. Home school is also not like the public school. It helps to meet each child’s individual needs.
Amen, Ann! I love the flexibility of homeschooling. Though it can be very challenging, for us, it’s been completely worth the challenge.
I homeschool 4 children. I have a ds(darling son) 9th grader, dd(darling daughter) 7th grade, ds 4 anddd2 – I do preschool/prek combined for them. I’ve recently added workboxes to the 4 year old child’s daily schedule. The 2 year old has three boxes too, the 4 year old has 6 (he wants 10!!). I’m now working on making sure he’s getting to do them 3 days a week. We have a double co-op day now on Tuesday, used to be one at a nearby church , but our church recently began one too. Then at least one other day gets messed up many times so I plan for an extra day for the little ones in case I need something. For the older too and soon the 4 yr old we use My Father’s World curriculum. I was getting things from different places and typing up assignment sheets, but with the two little ones that was getting to be too much. I like MFW because I can still add in some of our own things too. Plus it’s a more relaxed schedule which allows for more flexibility. We’ve had to “tweak” it a bit. Before homeschooling my older two went to public school. I was also an assistant teacher. I have to say, I’m very blessed to have my children at home and happy to make the sacrifice. I know all to well about what they “learn” in public school! The Lord led me to this and continues to guide me on the way! I enjoyed reading this post very much. I also have a very social 14 year old boy. I’ve been trying and praying on what to do for him. He doesn’t like our co-op too much any more, most of the kids are 3 yrs and younger. Only two are his age – girls – so no other teen boys to hang with. I did learn about a group I have to email to find out about. Plus we’re going on a field trip tomorrow with another new group I’ve met up with and have been told they have some teens and they’re close by and they’re Christians. Also, from reading this I started looking at somethings and remembered a free virtual homeschool group. I’ve now got my oldest signed up for their biology. He’s done a couple of days and is enjoying it. I’m thinking of getting him involved in their Japanese and Algebra classes. Thanks again!
I’m glad you’re loving homeschooling! Finding friends for teens can be difficult. I’m praying these new groups work out for your son!