This morning was our typical harried morning. After dragging the kids out of bed (none of them are morning people) and making them eat breakfast, we were just about ready to head out the door for school.
Suddenly Bug cried, “Where’s my backpack?”
Now, I must backtrack. While I do the morning drop offs, Sportsguy takes care of afternoon pick ups. Two different cars. Do you see where I’m going with this?
Every afternoon Sportsguy and I tell Bug to bring his backpack in the house right away. Most of the time he grunts, “Later.”
To give Bug credit, most of the time “Later” actually happens, and the backpack makes it’s way into the house. But not last night.
Back to this morning…
“Bug, did you bring your backpack in from Daddy’s car yesterday?”
“Nooooooo…..I NEED my math assignment!”
I had a choice to make. Miraculously we were running early, and I actually had time to run by Sportsguy’s workplace to pick up the backpack. But what would that teach my son?
I had a mental war with myself on the way to school. To bail my son out or not? That was the question.
Blinking back the tears, I passed the turnoff toward Sportsguy’s workplace and continued on to school. Bug was unhappy. He had no idea how hard it was for me to resist the urge to rescue him.
The day came and went. When Sportsguy and Bug came home, I noticed Bug was carrying his backpack as he walked through the door. Lesson learned, apparently.
As a parent, it’s hard to watch my babies suffer, even if they bring the suffering on themselves. I want to spare them the consequences of their actions, but what does that teach them? It reinforces their irresponsibility, and I do not want to raise irresponsible adults.
Sometimes we parents need to do the hard thing. We need to step back and let our children fail, while they are still under our loving care. I’m sure that’s a lot easier than watching them fail when they are adults, and we have less influence.
And as I blink back the tears while watching my son face the consequences of his poor decision, I wonder how often my Heavenly Father blinks back the tears watching me bear the consequences of my poor decisions? Hopefully I learn my lessons as well as Bug learned his.
Well said, dear friend. I am so proud of you. I know how hard it is to teach life’s lessons to our babies. Although, at the time, it seems we’re ripping out our own hearts out as well. You did the right thing, and most of all, your son will one day thank you for being his MOM, not his “Savior”. That’s what we have our Lord for. What a blessing your friendship is to me.
I wish the parents of kids in my class had done the same thing. It’s hard to teach kids that their homework is their responsibility if you make it your job to bring it to them all the time. I’m sure he got the message, and it will be one of those lessons he remembers a long time. What you do speaks so much more clearly than what you say. Good job, Mom!
Thanks for the support. We’ll see if he remembers his backpack after school today.
Lesson learned – Great move mom! I can so relate! I can remember the words “meanest mom in the whole world” were running through my head when I’ve done similar “hard” things so a lesson could be learned! Sometimes grace, sometimes hard lesson – it is wisdom to know when to apply each! Blessings to you!